howtostartlifeover.com

Its easy to get caught up in what you need to do and what your doing wrong. In fact, what is wrong is always available. Whats right may take some effort to find, but its well worth the time. Give yourself a pat on the back for what's right in your life and what you have accomplished. Its no fun to always see the negative.



SO whats right? I have signed up for Tough Mudder in Beaver Creek CO, on June 25, 2011. ( That is in only 53 days for those keeping track). This ought to get me REAL uncomfortable and gives me a goal to work towards. to be honest I am scared shitless! The good news is I have a team to train with and attack the 8 mile obstacle course with. Thats good. Its hard to accomplish anything worth while by yourself or to put it better; excellence is usually only attainable as a team. Since there are 24 different obstacles ranging from electro-shock, a log carry, greased up monkey bars, scaling 12 foot wet walls and of course lots of mud, firehoses and burning straw-teamwork is key. Kind of like life, huh? We can try and control everything and do everything ourselves, but that mentality can create a lot of unhappiness. The greatest moments in our lives, we usually share with someone else. Think about it. Your team wins the big game and you are all alone with no one to high five and jump around with. its not quite the same.



I figured this Tough Mudder is serious once I actually read and initialed the terms and conditions (unlike on my Itunes account).



I will be raising money for the Wounded Warrior Project and anyone wishing to donate in my honor can do so easily by following the link below. Thanks so much in advance for even ten or twenty dollars. it all goes to a great cause!

 https://www.raceit.com/fundraising/donate.aspx?event=2939&rid=1275744>

I am also thinking about starting a 501(c)3 and creating a foundation to help others. I am not sure yet on the function of it but I have to areas of passion when it comes to charities. The first is kids. I love helping kids, especially those who have had a tough go of it. The second is veterans. As a veteran myself, I hate to see these heroes who come back from active duty have such a hard time with jobs, adjusting to civilian life and getting the treatment they deserve. SO, I am going to be thinking about how i can create a business that's sole purpose is to give back. I will keep you posted.

Tale of The Tape
I started this adventure at a robust 206 lbs with 26.6% body fat (yikes!)

I am proud to say I am currently at 202.6 lbs and 25.4% body fat. (still yikes but getting better)

I am jogging about ten miles a week, combined with p90x 3 days a week and some free weights. Rounding the plan out is yoga, golf and some tennis.

As far as mental approach- I find that the hour of power in the AM (meditation, stretching and gratitude is a major game-changer.) I feel like I have a head start on the day. Its almost like cheating.

As for my diet it has been pretty good. A few cheats here and there but low fat, lean protein and lots of fruits and veggies. Also doing a lot of juicing.  I am also going to start an alkalizing cleanse which i will detail the how and why. Eating clean feels great  SO why don't we do it all the time? Maybe because what is wrong is always available and what is right you have to look for!



This week remember that its ok to fail as long as you fail forward. Failure is not a crime. Failure to learn from failure is.

The worst form of failure is NOT TRYING.  I have had lots of setbacks along the way with this blog...but I am further along than I was a year ago. I am in better shape, eating better, stopped smoking and building relationships all while expanding the way I can help others. Are we there yet? NO. Remember its not about the destination its all about the journey. So enjoy yours and get out there, get uncomfortable and kick some ass!

As I posted earlier about the importance of getting uncomfortable- i am about to get real uncomfortable. I am signing up to compete in the Tough Mudder event here in Colorado Sat. June 25th. I am ALSO signing up for the Denver Rock and Roll Marathon (but going to do the half marathon). As I train for these events I will also be raising money for some really good causes.

http://runrocknroll.competitor.com/denver/event-details

http://toughmudder.com/events/colorado/

That gives me two months to train for the eight mile long course at Tough Mudder and another couple months to get ready for the half marathon.

All in all things are going well. I have my summer planned with my son and airline tickets bought (we are going to take a road trip back to let him meet the family and stop at Yellowstone National Park along the way). I am working out and eating right. I have quit smoking completely and feeling great!

My relationship is going well. I have stopped trying to be right all the time. Stopped focusing on whats wrong and started focusing on whats right.

I am starting some work for some non-profits and for a cause I feel very strongly about today...I will let you know details as we move further along.

Look carefully at the closest associations in your life, for that is the direction you are heading!

They say you cant soar with the eagles if you are scratching around with the turkeys. Makes sense. if you really want to make serious changes in your life...consider changing people, places, and things. if i start training for these races..I am going to meet new people. If you want to quit smoking and its important enough to you- stop hanging out with smokers. Want to eat right...go to lunch with people who dont do fast food.

it is just a suggestion but why not stack the odds in your favor? Its how well you do the little things people.

Have a great day!

Focus equals feeling.

Let me explain. Want a recipe to be really unhappy? Focus on what you DON'T have. Also, focus on what everyone else is doing wrong. Hell, focus on all that YOU do wrong. 

For some of us, we don't even realize our computer in our heads is running on autopilot, every waking moment. And your topic of focus is kinda like a Google search engine. Yes, that's right. Our brain is like a complex computer that will "search" any question or topic we tell it to. Even if we dont consciously tell it what to search for.....that brain search engine has a "history", just like if your laptop. (If you have a really good friend you may want to instruct them to erase your laptops history in the event of your sudden untimely demise). Sometimes that muscle memory just goes on autopilot and "searches" the same disempowering question you have asked over and over in your head. So what does that have to do with anything?

Focus equals feeling.

Today, I realized in the midst of an argument with my girlfriend, that I was focusing on what she doesnt do well. I was focusing on the weaknesses in our relationship. I was basically an asshole. And it didnt take me long to figure that out.

You know that sinking feeling you get in the middle of and argument when you suddenly realize you are wrong? Yeah, me too.

She explained, "If you focus on what you dont have, or what everyone is doing wrong, your never going to be happy!"

Truer words have never been spoken. (Although to my credit, since I can quote her directly from several hours ago she can't say I wasn't listen). Just kidding.

"We can always choose to perceive things differently. You can focus on whats wrong with your life or you can focus on what's right." ~ Marianne Williamson

There is a price to pay for constantly focusing on what is wrong. Its called happiness. And its not worth it.

Initially, this was a difficult concept for someone like me. I am a driver. I am used to focusing on whats wrong, calculating a solution, and executing it. No excuses. Failure is not an option. Works great in business. Relationships, not so much.

Why?

Everyone has a computer in their head, with a search engine, with their own focus. And everyone is doing the best they can. Its not about me. And most of the time, its not about you.

When someone makes you mad, its not really their action. Its your perception of their action. Your focus.

Buy two people a present. One person will focus on the fact you thought of them and be grateful. They will be happy. The other recipient might focus on the price tag, or what store it came from. Which person do you think is generally happier? Which person is constantly disappointed, without realizing why? Think about it.

Why can a person live in a shack in a swamp with no money and barely enough to get by talk about how blessed they are? How great God has been to them? At the same instance some multimillionaire with all the opportunities in the world is contemplating suicide. Think it has anything to do with focus? If I were a gambling man, I'd say yes.

"it is during our darkest moments we most focus to see the light" ~ Aristotle Onassis

Focus equals feeling. Like any other skill, it takes practice. Lots of it. It wont come overnight. Lasting change rarely does.

Tony Robbins suggests that to maintain change you need three things.

1. Immersion

2. Spaced Repetition

3. Peer Group That Supports You

It sounds pretty simple, but its gonna take work. Theory is a long way from application. But like anything that is uncomfortable at first, soon it will be second nature. Don't take my word for it, try it your self.

Guard your thoughts because thoughts become things! Focus on whats going right. Focus on progress. Focus on the fact everyone is doing the best they can. Focus on the fact most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.

Here's to Your Success!

Update!!

I wrote earlier about getting uncomfortable and I also wrote about personal discipline.  Well, I have pushed through that one week plateau on diet, exercise and have been getting really uncomfortable! In fact I have decided to do a half marathon in a few months, or a triathlon.  All for a charitable cause. I have been eating right, running in the AM, yoga in the evening. Also, I am getting ready to work on a big project that if all goes well should raise a lot of money for some really great charities! I also havent smoked in a week and have decided I am done. The thought of a cigarette actually really disgusts me (especially since I have used IMMERSION with exercise and diet).
After my "nothing fight" with my girlfriend I wanted to just say screw it and plop down on the couch and ignore my responsibilities. Instead, I worked out, ate right and got on my computer to blog. Small victory yes, but a victory nonetheless.  I even swallowed my pride, told my girlfriend she was right and have a nice book I started reading called 'The Way to Love.' (Bonus points right there!)

Hey, if life is a game i am gonna play all out, but I am also gonna have some fun doing it along the way!
I will commit to writing every day. Thanks for your support! I know I would not be here right now without some of the feedback i have gotten from this blog. I will also be updating my weight, body fat and including some pictures along the way as I transform my body. That is sure to make this blog a whole lot funnier when you see my fat pictures!

I will leave you with one last quote I learned in the military.

"The journey of 1000 miles begins with one step, and a lot of bitching!"

Cheers!

If one has the guts to do a fearless moral self inventory its pretty clear what is working and what isnt. You have t be honest though. DO not see thing worse than they are but don't use softeners either.

Well, I have done a fearless moral inventory and I have come to the conclusion I can not have lasting change until I utilize some personal discipline. I know i have it in me, but like a muscle that doesn't get worked, Its gotten pretty damn weak. Flabby even.  In fact, atrophy has set in from years of doing whatever the hell I want- and not necessarily what I should be doing. This hit close to home for anyone out there?

You may notice I have started off full of piss and vinegar in this blog only to taper off for this reason or that. Thus- no real lasting changes. At least not up to my standards, and my standards are pretty high. Ask those who have to deal with me on a regular basis. They're super high for where i am and where i should be.

So how can I have really high standards, yet not exercise personal discipline? How does that work? About as well as screen doors on a submarine. I would venture to say that when I am doing what I know I shouldnt be doing or NOT doing what I should be doing...I end up should-ing all over myself. Sound familiar?

"I should hit the gym today"

"I should eat right"

"I should quit smoking"

All these things tend to nag on my subconscious because i am not living up to my standards. I can make an excuse intellectually that may be a passable but inside i know its bullshit. Then I feel like crap. Once i feel this slight level of being uncomfortable, well I usually just distract myself so as not to actually do anything about. This process can repeat itself over and over until the pattern is broken or you lower your standards. (See my earlier post about getting uncomfortable).

Its a new month. Its a new day. I have dusted off my personal discipline that helped me achieve so much in the past but has been collecting dust as of recently. Funny enough, its only been a few days but things are happening all around me that make me feel great about the direction i am going. More importantly, its time for some lasting change.  Isn't that the key? Lasting change?

I am committing to doing a triathlon in 4 months for a charity. Hows that for getting uncomfortable?

I started the P90x again.  I quit smoking my "every-once-in-a-while" ciggy. 

As we go, I will share some techniques that are working-and even the ones that are NOT.  As we embark on this journey to Start Life Over, I am not focusing on my failures. That would be counterproductive. However i will take a forensic microscope to my techniques that work, and those that dont.

Personal Discipline to finish P90x, write in my blog, work on my relationships, focus on my finances and most importantly enjoy the ride as we go is key.  No matter how many books I read, or CD's I listen to or seminars I attend...without Personal Discipline its all shit! Seriously. Before you know it, in a cloud of disgust i distract myself through TV, Facebook, Video Games, Eating or Drinking too much, etc.

WHEN i actually exercise my personal discipline the world looks new and shiny. Better people come into my life. Opportunities seem to flow my way almost effortlessly. Life seems fun again because I have some MOMENTUM!  Progress. That nagging voice attached to my high standards can't say squat! I allow myself the privilege of being happy and feeling great.

I can say NO when I want to embark on a low return activity. I can set TWO alarms to get up to meditate, stretch and run in the AM. I can and have sent my XBOX controllers to work with my girlfriend so I am not tempted to take a brake from my workday to play some Madden. (Funny enough I am also really excited to see her when she gets home from work this way!) I can make myself write a letter to my girlfriend/son/accountability buddy before I have a cigarette. I can even crush the pack in dramatic fashion and make an offering to the trash gods, so as not to be tempted to sneak a puff.  I can throw out all the highly processed crap in my cupboards and only buy lean proteins and lots of fresh fruits, veggie and whole grains.  I CAN and I will. I am going to build that personal discipline muscle that was my lifeblood when I was a soldier, student or commission-only-salesman.

Quite simply when I exercised personal discipline, great things happened. I was a leading by example. The past few years that has not been the case. The results were markedly different. Thats why i started this blog. I was fed up.

So in closing, I encourage you to find some leverage. Stoke your fires for positive change. Bannish the BS excuses and stop should-ing on your self. Most importantly, start growing that muscle memory that contains your personal discipline. See what happens. Get someone to help keep you accountable. Most importantly be accountable to yourself and your passions.

Have fun along the way. This day will never happen again. It wont. Enjoy it. And Enjoy your progress towards whatever goal is important to you.

Cheers!

Ok guys. And gals. If your like me you have a to-do list that follows you around like a little brother. And it seems to get bigger and bigger. And you feel like crap when you admit to your self you didn't DO crap to make that list go away. Well I am taking a machete (not literally) to that freakin' list and have decided I will have a clean board for next week.

That's it.

I am head down, no distractions (except lunch) making calls while I'm filling out forms. Multitasking baby!!

Hmmm. Thinking a greek salad with grilled chicken on it sounds like a delectable scooby snack today. Big Ice water with lemon. Boom!

My girlfriend, who is a little powder keg of energy herself works at a hospital and gets sick a lot. Which means she is sick now. Now I feel a little flu-ish. And I am pretty sure she has re-gifted her sickness to me (thanks sweetie). No matter. Sick or not sick. Head down and crushin it! No excuses today.

My platoon sergeant used to say, "You can sleep when your DEAD, Meat-Head."

I think he was right.



I'm off to grab lunch and get an oil change and hit the post office (Yikes). A little multitasking, if you will.

I just wanted to share a little good vibe or two with you as i go. if you have one of these lists. Knock it out!

Just recently, I found an old list, from like ten years ago. Pretty funny to see that!  You know what I realized upon re-examining those old lists? (besides I am pretty crazy for having an old to-do list, and remembering everyone and everything on it) Some of it got done. Some of it didn't. Some of it mattered. Most of it didn't. And that is THAT.

SO maybe we make our lists a little TOO big.  Maybe its better to delegate what you can, then DO what you can do, blow off the unimportant, then realize that list ain't so bad and is NOT to be feared!

Go Ahead....get a little uncomfortable and just make up your mind "That's it, No MORE, I'm gonna make this list my bitch and feel pretty damn good about it too". See how that feels!

Cheers!

Doesn't it seem like we spend copious amounts of time and energy trying to avoid pain and/or gain pleasure? In fact, for many of us our days are smudged together in this "lifestyle". Avoid Pain. Seek Pleasure. At ANY cost. Repeat next day.

Seems reasonable at first glance. After all, we are at the top of the food chain. We earned this king of the hill status. When you think about it, man has no natural predators (except man). We have a pretty good gig here on this rock.  Opposable thumbs? Check. Clean water. Check. Lots of cheap, highly processed, readily available food? Check. Ability to communicate with almost anyone, instantly? Check. Freedom. You bet. Eight Hundred TV channels available 24 hours a day (and still nothing on)? I've got the DirecTV bill to prove it. Toys, gadgets, luxuries, conveniences blah blah blah.

Living the good life.

Winning. Duh.

Sounds pretty good huh? Well it is, at first glance. And don't get me wrong, i like nice things. I like my comfy couch and big screen TV. I really do. I am not coming at you as some crazy tree hugging hippie. No Amish roots in this family tree. I'm just bringing a swift dose of common sense because we have numbed ourselves to the point we are as soft as a grape. Avoiding pushing out of our comfort zone. This cushy, numbed down existence is NOT helping us but it's actually hurting us. Read on and I will explain how it affects how we feel and what you can do about it.

"Once you learn to quit, it becomes a habit." Vince Lombardi

Lets start with health. What we eat. With all that readily available crap food, it is no secret America is fast becoming the fattest bunch of slobs on earth. One in four kids today will develop diabetes, many before they turn 18! Our Military has said the epidemic of obesity is the greatest threat to our National Security. What does that say about us as a culture? Maybe we have had it so good for so long we have gotten a little soft. That softness is not good for our souls. Not good for how we feel day to day. We need to achieve. We need to hunt. we need to experience little successes in our days. It balances us out. We need to take chances.

Conversely, we seem offended whenever life deals us a curve ball. AS IF!  I'm here to tell you problems are a sign you are alive. The only people with no problems are in the graveyard, taking a dirt nap. If we see these problems just like a another hurdle on the track of life, we can then effortlessly jump right over them and focus on winning the race. Instead of tripping and falling down on that hurdle and ending up on Tosh.O.

"Passion is the genesis of genius"- Anthony Robbins

What are you passionate about? Better yet, what could you get passionate about? Your Body? Your relationship? How 'bout your bankroll? if you bankroll has been on injured reserve for too long, this may be you!

Hasn't all greatness been achieved through some kind of great struggle or massive feat? Isn't the magnitude of the hero defined by the size of the enemy conquered? David vs Goliath. God vs El Diablo. The 1980 US Hockey team vs the Soviets. The US Revolution. Apollo 13. Christopher Columbus. It makes for a hell of a story when an underdog defeats the big bad guy. It stirs the soul. Generates passion. Inspires imagination. Its the same way in our personal lives.

Let me be clear, you don't have to find a cure for cancer, earn a gold medal or start a revolution. Just get psyched to tackle those things that have been dogging you for years. Get uncomfortable. Change your Story. Stop making excuses.

Once if you start accomplishing things, pushing out of your comfort zone, you life will change. I'm talking about getting just a little bit uncomfortable. And then reaping what you sow. Generate some momentum. Start slow and see where it takes you. Or, go shock and awe, break out of your patterns and make it happen right now! its up to you. It's your life.

"I firmly believe that any man's finest hour, the greatest fulfillment of all that he holds dear, is the moment when he has worked his heart out in a good cause and lies exhausted on the field of battle-victorious." Vince Lombardi

Notice he said "any man"? That means everyone.

That leads me to believe I have felt the best when I have some momentum. When I am in "the zone". When I have created or achieved or served others. When I have given my best.

Doesn't it feel good when you accomplish something?  Against all odds? Finally quit smoking. Actually show up early for an appointment. Stick with the gym for an entire year and everyone notices. Beat your personal best. Pay off your car. Finish that book or CD series on your shelf. Help your child win first place on their science project. These are just a few examples. You get my point.

From my perspective graduating basic training in Ft. Benning, Georgia in 14 weeks was a bigger accomplishment than graduating public school in 12 years. It was harder. A LOT harder. Some didn't make it. I did.

But that sense of accomplishment made all the difference.

My Drill Sergeants were real hard asses. No joke. But I would have never pushed myself out of my soft, safe, comfort zone like they did. It made me the soldier I was and the man I am today. Same with my football coach. Same with that teacher who pushed me in High School.

"Safe is Death." It was a championship winning motto for the 2004 Tampa Bay lightning. Yes, that's right, the Stanley Cup got a tan that year as the Lightning won it all and their mantra set the tone for their play all season. It affected their Strategy (going all out. leaving it all on the ice). Their Story if we play it safe, we don't make history). Their State (how would you carry yourself, think and act knowing this was your mentality)?

Sticking with a hockey analogy, did you see the movie "Miracle" with Kurt Russel? Great movie! In dramatic Disney fashion coach Herb Brooks, Played by Russel, forged a bunch of young kids into a team that went on to beat the greatest hockey machine in modern history, the U.S.S.R. True story. Those kids went through so much pain you felt sorry for them. Really. But they achieved something few ever will. Excellence. Through their sacrifice they lifted an entire nation-not just hockey fans. Do you think looking back, 30 years later, those kids would say, "maybe we shouldn't have trained so hard?" No way. They loved their coach for how he pushed them out of their comfort zone. He got them to achieve collectively what they never could individually.

Vince Lombardi was the same way.

"Mental toughness is many things and rather difficult to explain. Its qualities are sacrifice and self-denial. Also, most importantly, it is combined with a perfectly disciplined will that refuses to give in. It's a state of mind-you could call it character in action." Vince Lombardi


"I'm on the practice field running two-a-days, so I don't drop the ball when its thrown my way" Jay Z ("Off That" Blueprint III)

When was the last time you ran two-a days so you didn't drop the ball in your relationship? At your job? In the Gym?

"Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish," Steve Jobs. (2005 Stanford Commencement Address)

Whats the opposite of hungry? Full. Satiated. Bloated. Fat. Lazy.

Yuck.

Lets get a little more personal. When I started my last company everyone said we wouldn't make it. We would fail in spectacular fashion and come crawling back begging for our jobs. That pissed me off. Made me hungry. To this day I see that fueled my hunger through the hard times to make it succeed. And succeed we did. For about eight years.

If we have no pressure how do we grow? And everything in life is either growing or dieing. That's a fact, Jack.

How do you grow big muscles in the gym without pushing past you comfort zone? You don't. Want to improve any area of your life or personality you must confront it, change your strategy and then DO it. A lot. Then it seems second nature. Almost effortless to observers. Its called mastery. If you want to master any area of your life it WILL NOT HAPPEN IF YOU STAY IN YOUR NICE, SAFE COMFORT ZONE. It just won't.

And so that you stay consistent, get a coach or an accountability buddy.

Think Cirque De Sole just puts an ad in the paper and then fires some schmucks off the trapeze? Hardly. I guarantee they practice those routines thousands of times so that it is pure muscle memory. Lots of pushing out of their comfort zone. That's how they nail it night after night. The had to get uncomfortable to get that good. So do we.

Michael Jordan lost to the "Bad Boy" Pistons when he first came in the league, and it pissed him off to no end. Big Time.  But he didn't sulk or cry in his corn flakes. He worked twice as hard in the off season.He turned that pain into fuel. Rocket Fuel. And that pain created a legacy that defined his existence. One of the greatest champions of all time. Can you believe he was cut by his high school coach? One of the greatest champions of all time.

What I am suggesting is that it takes a great amount of pressure to turn coal into a diamond. If you have a nice easy life with everything handed to you it may seem a blessing but really be a curse. Look around for examples in your world. Ever heard of those rich spoiled kids who are given everything then turn out to be monsters?

Back to a sense of accomplishment and what it means to our daily lives.

We feel better about ourselves if we keep our word, stick to the plan and accomplish that goal- even if it becomes uncomfortable. Maybe that self-discipline is what we crave. What we need.

Start small. Its how well you do the little things that really matter.

Ever heard how Oprah Winfrey grew up? Her Childhood? It was not pretty. I am not going to go into detail, you can Google it. But look what she parlayed that into. She has touched a lot of lives in a positive fashion.  A lot of  inspirational people overcame great challenges to become who they are today.

Pain is eventual, suffering is optional.

I'm not saying you had to have a tough childhood or experience poverty to be great or even to feel a certain way. Clearly history is full of people who overcame massive difficulties and parlayed that into greatness. They turned their pain into fuel. Fuel to achieve. To overcome. To prove doubters wrong. To touch lives. To help others. So can you.

Did Bill gates have a nice life growing up? Did he face adversity and get pushed out of his comfort zone? I don't know, but I am sure we all have our personal cross to bear and no one can know what it was like to walk in your shoes.

When we can take adversity, use it to change our "Story", that's power. You know that story we tell anyone who will listen, about why things are the way they are. We consciously or unconsciously write that story. We say it enough that we get hard-wired to believe it and do it. Self fulfilling prophecy.

 The only thing keeping you from the life you deserve is the story you keep telling your self. Change your story, change your life!

"I want to work out but I don't have time for the gym." That's a story.

"I want to get in shape but money is tight. I can't afford a gym membership." Another Story. Maybe. Maybe if you quit smoking you could use that money for a gym membership? How many times you spend 40 bucks going out with some friends? I know I do all the time.

With that being said, why not change your story to, "I never miss a chance to work out. Its my time for me and its as important as eating and sleeping and hugging my kids"

That's a story too. Which story would make you feel better? it might be a little uncomfortable at first but that's OK.

Remember that company I started? Well, eventually the money dried up and we lost that multimillion dollar company that I had co-founded. I lost a lot of "stuff". I also lost a lot of fake friends too. Man, when the money dried up they scattered like roaches when the lights come on! But I also gained a lot of time to reflect. I realized who my true friends were.  I realized I ran from pain for a long time, and I was not any better for that. I was worse. I forgot how hard I had worked to get here and I was not appreciative of my blessings. I had developed bad habits. Now, I see that pain is a sign we are alive. Who am i to try and insulate my life in excuses and self sabotage just to avoid any semblance of pain? Without the rain we can't have the rainbow, my friends.

If we rig our lives to make it really safe, and comfortable and easy...can we really achieve happiness? Will we feel fulfilled by just trying to make it to the next day. Playing it safe. I think not. I think we need to constantly push out of our comfort zone to grow those muscles; physical & emotional muscles.

I can NOT go to the gym, or meditate in the AM, or work on the house. Or write in my blog. Its easier, and no one is going to make me (unless one of my Drill Sergeants becomes my accountability buddy). But it also will gnaw at me because I know that I am capable of so much more. Then I have to do something to distract myself from that gnawing feeling that I am being a shitbag. Instead, I can push myself out of my comfort zone, and feel better after.

Ever come home from a workout and felt tired? Exhausted? Bushed? Yes, but you also FELT great! You gave yourself permission to feel great! Your hard wired to feel great after accomplishment.

I fell off my game because i got really comfortable. Felt safe. Lost my hunger. My edge. My focus. Now i want it back. I had everything I could want at the drop of a hat and what did that get me? Apathy. Unhappiness. Numbness. Lethargy.

Less "stuff". That was good. More contribution. Good. Get up early and killing it in the gym. Boom! Turn off the idiot box and write a letter to a long-lost friend. Now we are talking. Head down crushing it is my new motto. Boy does that feel better than making yet another excuse.

"Everybody dies but not everybody lives," hmmmm.

So what can you do about this, right now?

Take action. Motion creates emotion. Get up and move dynamically. It sounds simple but it works. Knock something off your list. Start small so you have a sense of accomplishment. You will get momentum.

Get an accountability buddy. Someone you meet with once a week and tell them what your goals are. Then when you meet again they will be asking what you did to move towards YOUR goals. Its so simple its brilliant. Don't take my word for it. Give it a try. What have you got to lose?

Push yourself out of your comfort zone and see what happens. See how you feel. Use you accountability buddy to keep you honest. Come up with a new Story. Your Story, State and Strategy will change. You will feel better.  Find someone to help and mentor. Rededicate yourself to running 2-a-days in your work or better yet, your relationships.

Raise the bar. Find some personal discipline. If you don't have any personal discipline (better change that story) borrow some!  Recommit to what you know you need to do. Stop eating crap. Get off the couch. Hit the library. Volunteer to help others. Meditate. Spend time taking care of yourself. Spend quality time with those that love you.

Why should you do this, because I am telling you to? NO! Who am I, but a guy with some observations. You should try this because what you were doing wasn't working. It will feel better to change your strategy! YOU will feel better. You will walk differently. You will talk differently. Think differently. A few small changes to get out of your comfort zone, combined with good strategy will translate into a different way of life. The life you deserve and everyone around you deserves too.

"Nothing feels as good as progress and NOTHING happens until something moves!" Mike Litman

Move. Motion creates emotion.

Time to Shine. Head Down Crushin' it!

Here's to Your Success!

Well happy new year! I have a feeling 2011 is going to be an outstanding year.

I bought this URL about a year ago and have started a transformation of my body, my relationships, my finances and my overall level of happiness with varied levels of success.

I know all this comes from within me. How I feel on any given day, or my fitness level or even my income are ultimately up to me. SO, before i go looking outside for any quick fixes (been there done that) i am starting within me.

There HAS to be a strong foundation built on discipline, affection and exercise- Thank you "Dog Whisperer".

In this blog I started my transformation a couple times and then the wheels fell off. I am not happy about it but I am also not going to beat myself up over it either. Its not how many times you fall down, but how many time you get back up.(I'm sure someone pretty important said that.) I believe this with all my heart.

With that being said, I have also enjoyed the feedback from the readers so as we embark on this journey this new year I am going to be using more video and pictures as I go. Should make it more entertaining and informative for you. I also have a new heart rate monitor with GPS and a few cool tools to help make my information a little more scientific and easier to quantify or duplicate if you would like to do that.

I have outlined the plan a little earlier in the blog, and it is still the same with a few minor tweaks which i will explain as I go.

So anyways, thanks for your support and I look forward to really expanding this blog and the content as i take this journey in 2011.

Here is to your success and most importantly I hope i can help others who want to start their life over too!

“Perfection is the enemy of success”

“The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.”

"I am careful not to confuse excellence with perfection. Excellence, I can reach for; Perfection is God's business"

“When you strive for perfection, you shoot yourself in the foot right from the start. You’ve given yourself a goal that’s unreachable...Perfection holds you back from reaching your true potential.”

“Some of us (perfectionists, especially) fuss so much over making the 'right' choice, but in life, all that's really needed is to make any' good' choice, believe in it, go through with it, and accept the consequences.”

-Perfection quotes by various persons


As most of you know, I started a blog over a month ago at www.howtostartlifeover.com. For too long I have known what I should to do to make more money, have better relationships and even look and feel energetic and healthy. Notice I said "should". As Tony Robbins says, "I should all over myself".  Boy, did I ever.

Consequently my life felt like a mess. I lost the big house on the water, the multimillion dollar company. My clothes didn't fit, I was so out of shape. I ate like crap and drank too much. Even though I had an intellectual understanding of what I needed to be doing to pull out of this massive tailspin, I was immobilized.

Why? I think it had a lot to do with my obsession with perfection. Or at least my misconception that perfection was actually attainable.  I must confess at first that type A personality served me. I was a top sales guy everywhere I went. I could take ideas and turn them into reality with a lot  hard work. I fed off of the naysayers. My obsession with perfection provided the fuel i needed when the odds seemed stacked against me.

But eventually, like a superpower with a horrible side effect, the gift became the curse.

It reached the point I was making more money than 99% of the US population. Yet I was not fulfilled. I sure as hell wasn't stopping to smell the roses. On paper i had it all but was pretty miserable. I sure wasn't as appreciative as I should have been. I had an attitude of expectation. Have you ever felt this way?

This led to a drawn out but spectacular fall from grace.

One day I said,"That's it. NO more."

After finally feeling like I HAD to change, I MUST change and I WILL change I had one big obstacle to overcome and it resided between my ears. It was the idea that things had to be perfect to start.

I rationalized that I couldn't start hitting the gym until i got back from vacation. Cant start the diet until I eat the junk food I already purchased. Why start a new business when it might be the wrong time or place?

The story I was telling myself was easy to justify because honestly, how could things or circumstances ever be perfect?

The idea that everything must be perfect before you start something new is a success killer. When the moon and stars align,everything will be perfect. Then I will start. Guess what Copernicus? That day wont come. The beauty of I will start tomorrow, is tomorrow NEVER comes. Its always the next day. The only thing we are guaranteed is NOW. Today.

Waiting for perfection leads to procrastination. That is a guarantee.

"You don't have to get it right, you just have to get it going," says success coach Mike Litman.

He says it all the time. He is also right.

Perfection IS the lowest standard of all.

Since I started my blog i have tracked all my workouts. I methodically write down every calorie, carb and gram of protein. I stayed away from eating out. Early morning runs and yoga. I focused on my relationships with an eagles eye. I turned my focus on my self and my actions and stopped blaming others.  Things were going great for almost a month and then I went back home on vacation.

Uh-oh.

To be fair I still worked out a few times, ate relatively good and reconnected with some really good friends.

To be fair I also deviated from my plan outlined in my blog.

Guess What? My first day back my girlfriend and I popped in the P90x DVD. I started journaling and tracking all my calories. I pretty much picked up where i left off.

But I felt guilty. I hadn't stuck to my diet. I missed workouts. For a bit I really felt guilty. I had let everyone down. I wasn't perfect.

But you know what? That is OK. I had a mini vacation and could have just said, "Ahhh to heck with it. I didn't make it. I didn't follow through" Then I had an easy out to quit. I could just go back to the old way. You know the old way, the way that didn't work.

Bullshit.

Life isn't about bowling a 300 or hitting a hole in one. Its about giving your best. Its not about how many times you fall down, but rather how many times you get back up.  Once I stopped thinking I had to be perfect it was like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. Its OK to have a cheat day. I gave myself permission to be human.

Perfection is the LOWEST standard because unless you name is Jesus Christ, it ain't gonna happen.  Sorry Charlie. You are setting yourself up for failure. Why not rig the rules to the game of life so you can win? Why not give yourself a break every now and again.

Please do not confuse this an excuse to lower your standards. Do not think i am saying abandon your goals to be an outstanding husband/wife/son/brother/employee/boss/neighbor/teammate/accountant, etc. Raise your standards. Choose great role models and mentors. Use a proven set of strategies or principals to achieve your goals. By all means shoot for the stars!! Never let anyone tell you you can't do something. BE OUTSTANDING!

But if you don't score a 1600 on you SAT's don't go crying in your cornflakes.  

Do not think you need to be perfect. Its the lowest possible standard because its not humanly possible. It also gives you an easy out to quit and fuels permanent procrastination.

Michael Jordan was arguably the greatest basketball player we have ever seen, but he was hardly perfect.

"I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed," Michael Jordan.

There is something to be said for someone who continually "shows up".  How much better do you feel after you finish your workout even after your brain furnished you with a myriad of excuses to skip the workout? You feel great don't you? Even a mediocre workout feels a heck of a lot better than skipping it all together, doesn't it?

"You don't have to get it right, you just have to get it going"

Get off your butt. Make it happen. Be the change you want to see in your life. Ask for help. Maybe get some coaching or a personal trainer. If something doesn't work, try something else. If that doesn't work, try something else. Keep trying different things until you find what works.

But for YOUR sake and those around you, give yourself a break if your not perfect.

The law of motion is a powerful force. Objects in motion (like you heading towards your goals) tend to stay in motion. Conversely, your butt planted on the couch will probably stay there and grow roots.

Celebrate if you hit a whole in one! Heck, send me a picture of you standing by the pin with a big 'ol grin on your face. But don't bitch and moan every hole because your not playing like Tiger Woods. Speaking of Tiger, seems obvious now even though he was an outstanding golfer, he was clearly far from perfect.

You have the potential for greatness within you. The only person who can take that away is the person you see in the mirror. The story you tell yourself has a powerful effect on your motivation or ability to follow through.

Your standards should be outstanding, but allow yourself to make mistakes. Give yourself a pat on the back. Look yourself in the eyes in your mirror and say, "I love you." Heck, while your at it why not go ahead and forgive yourself for times in the past that you were less than perfect.

Its amazingly powerful and you just might even stop expecting those around you to be perfect too.

But that's a topic for another article.

Here's to your success!

Well I am back home for a week to take care of some business. And when I come back one of the best parts is I get to see my old friends. And, one of the worst parts is I see my old friends.

Don't take it the wrong way. I love my friends. I really do. Some of them are even closer than actual family members. But my challenge is going to be put to a test because we have a long tradition of eating lots of crappy food and drinking lots of adult beverages.

I have almost four weeks of progress. I am actually almost 2% lower on my body fat and since I am keeping track of every thing that I eat and drink I realize my old habits of throwing caution to the wind when it comes to late night partying wont work.

I mean, a late nite meal washed down with some tall frosty beers could easily add 1000 to 2000 calories....all late at nigh and right before bed.

I used to be able to be out drinking with my buddies at the club til 3 am and get up at 6 am and run 7 miles around an airfield. USED to be able to. I was also fresh out of High School, in the Army, and full of piss and vinegar.

Now if i drink too much I have these nasty lingering hangovers that last 2 days. Talk about unproductive. Well, I like getting my ass up at 6 am and having my hour of power and feeling great. My old hour of power when I was hung over involved a large cup of coffee and a giant steak skillet scramble. Geez, wonder why I was so out of shape and generally unhappy? Doesn't take a CSI team to figure that one out.

SO as I get ready to watch some Monday Night Football with my friends and family i haven't seen in about two months I have some plans in place.

1. I am talking to YOU. Which means I am recommitting myself to my goals. I know i have progress and to go slipping off the rails right now would just be falling into old patterns.

2. I made an appointment at 9 am tomorrow.  Nothing like an important early meeting to use as an excuse to drink lots of water and not act like a pig the night before.

3. I sat next to a LT Colonel on the plane ride here. He was a sharp guy. 22 years in, probably could be a general one day. We had a nice chat for about an hour about things like high standards, improvising in times of need, decisions affecting the future, being a strong leader and  winning the hearts and minds. He reminded me what really matters to me. What kind of example and leader I strive to be, and why. He even shook my hand and gave me one of his battalion coins as we said goodbye. God works in mysterious ways.

4. I  have not always been such a great example for others to follow. Now I take that seriously. I don't know exactly why but its like i have flipped a switch and don't want to switch it back

With all of that being said, It really is great to be back home. Its even greater to feel like a better friend, brother, godfather and boyfriend for all the right reasons.  If i am there for myself first, I will be more present for them.